it hurts more in the daytime
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
