Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
