Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
