Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
