I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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