Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
