bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
