I just saw a hot homeless man
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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