I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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