Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Randomize