He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
