dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
