i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
