Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
