Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
