member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
