just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
