he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Randomize
