I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
