Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she looked like the before picture.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
