I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize