he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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