I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
