yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
