Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize