K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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