Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
