hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
