My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
