i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
