I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
