We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
