Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
