do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
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