I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
