About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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