So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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