Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize