i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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