I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Randomize
