If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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