and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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