Say something about gay babies.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
