I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
