I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
