The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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