well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
