The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Dignity is for republicans.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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