wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I wish there were birth control emojis
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize