The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
