Where is the hickey?
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
