Quick, to the slutcave!
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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