rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize