You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
