Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have fence marks all over my body
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Congratulations! We have a period
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
