Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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