I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
