You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
false alarm, still single
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize