Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
