I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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