My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize