I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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