Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
