you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
