Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
