I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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