I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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