Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize