i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
