so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
