you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize