yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
