i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize