Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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