my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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