so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
