JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
