I showed him my bush... on skype.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
