pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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